The more I read, the less I care...

Nihilism.
Context: An experiment in nihilism. TK says, "Don't care about anything for a month. See where it gets you."
Apathy.
Context: Disillusionment with previously stated goals. There's a term in psychology. Can't remember at the moment.
Aesthetics.
Context: Primary Concern. Pleasing.
First, a question: Where does purpose lie? Is it an active force, or is it prey; the hunt, the entrails, can we disembowl purpose? Salt & eat it because it's definitely no good to us dead.
~Interlude~
The way the words are laid out on a page are aesthetically pleasing. The right combination of phonemes is symphony. Wrought Iron Sconces. Power.
Language is an instinct. It grows within our specific ecosystem and we give it shape. Pinker says this. It's like a hand. But its growth can be stunted. It can also be developed to throw a football however many yards the field is. We give the arm sole credit. Never the deft flexibility of the hand. The fingers are useless. "He's got a good hand." I've mixed metaphors. Where are our priorities?
~Digression~
I don't speak much in academic environments. I get too involved in thinking, the stream, it's meditation, full concentration. I absorb it. I was asked a question in class the other day. The topic happened to relate to a specialized class interterm class I took. Four weeks of intensive study, waiting to be applied. The question called for a simple "no." Four weeks compacted into one word. And a monosyllabic one.
I've thought about dropping out of school for a few months. This thought process culminated sometime in January. There's a reason, but it's not correctly articulated, so I can't really say it in sentences. Uncomfortable with academics. I have original thoughts until I read Kant. People ask me to prove metaphysical points by citing my sources: what if it's just the way I was thinking at that particular moment?
I was establishing non-theism simplisticly: I can't find an appropriate reason for faith. Someone attempts to explain their spirituality to me through reason. He cites C.S. Lewis. I indicate that I don't care. Asks me what I've read to explain my logic. "Other people," I want to say.
~Inconclusion~
I've lost track of what I was initially here to say. I have no reference point.

Milo, Ishmael, Bruce.