Because fatality neutralizes subversion.

My photo
Orange County, California, United States
Impermanent.

Forgotten

20060516

bucky's poem.

I stood before the seer, with his canvas bag of tricks and Birkenstocks that spoke empty dissention. The prophet began:

"This was. Broken, atrophied, sitting on the sidewalk with a copy of Chomsky in my backpack and a degree’s worth of knowledge in my head. My grad gown draped across a chair in my room four blocks away. This is. Continuity, fluid movements between then and when. Sound dilation. Saturday masquerades as Wednesday and I fight over who’s birthday it is. We light a cigarette to toss. I think I have cancer. Too much caffeine. Too much nicotine. I vomited once after I had a pot of coffee. I had absorbed a 750 of popov a few hours before. Then I blacked out. Maybe it wasn’t the coffee.

"Word is the barrier between realities and reality. John told me once that in order to rid language from my life, I had to decimate my internal monologues. He also called me a failure. He was right. I don’t know why. I’m too lazy to try to analyze it. Maybe this is why I failed out of philosophy. Either that, or I was on too much speed and pot to concentrate on Nietchze. It’s okay. He says God don’t care.

"My Blank has no pattern. Terse phrases and incomplete thoughts. Mediocre delusional. Or just human. It’s an affect of the Orange Curtain. P.K. Dick was right. I refuse to capitalize. e.e. cummings used to be my hero. Now I know why. I wish I could have first drafts of my thoughts. There shouldn’t be a backspace key. All thoughts should be final. Perhaps it’s not the idea of capitalization, but punctuation. I should have no periods or commas, because the last thought is only a continuation of the first. Speech has no punctuations, just hesitations. 'Mi mou tous kiklous taratte.' Archimedes' final words. Translated: 'Do not disturb my circles.' He had a point.

"He told me that if I didn’t catch any of the references, I’m too young to matter and if I did catch them, I’m too old to care. I’m not who I wanted to be. Dissolving in a Marxist romance, because I fell in love with the proletariat. I fall asleep masturbating. Existing as a result of emotional compound fractures. Speaking in forced similes of free verse and wondering if the Encyclopedia Britannica has an entrance on itself. I need to lay off everything. Everything. This is all for a grade. Revision of first line: A shrug and a smile. I’m stuck on thoughts now. That’s a sign. It signifies the beginning of something great. It’s gravy."

He stepped down and bummed a smoke.

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It's like trying to explain how to diagram a misremembered sentence. Or asking someone to be a little less pretentious.